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Introducing Daz
Submitted by desperate daz on Sun, 03/05/2009 - 4:29pm
Hi all, I'm Darron, I'm 43 yrs old and live in Northampton. I have 3 sons aged 15, 13 and 10 from my marriage that finished in December 2002. I had a voluntary arrangement with my ex-wife and paid her a reasonable amount that was affordable for me and suited her. Since the divorce (she divorced me by the way) I literally walked out of the marital home with a bag of clothes and my computer and no where to go. It's been hard for me having to start again although I did have my job and a few friends that helped me out with a place to put my head. I've had several disastrous relationships over the years since the divorce but for the last 5 yrs I have been dating a lovely girl locally who advised me to get receipts for the cash/cheques I was paying my ex in child maintenance. Wish I'd done this from the word go as the CSA got involved last year and backdated the maintenance saying I owed them £16k. As you can imagine I was horrified. I was just getting back on my feet financially too having sorted out debts that were not only mine but hers too.
I have paid her over £11,000 in maintenance and have appealed to the CSA but they rejected it after asking her, her reply was he's only given me just over £2k which is a blatant lie. I am so fed up, feel like ending it all sometimes. I think of my children when I feel this way. I am on anti-depressants, have diabetes and don't even ask me about my bank balance. If I didnt have an overdraft and a credit card with a small credit limit I'd be screwed big time. I have appealed several times to the CSA, even contacted my local MP and they just do not want to know. I feel I am being treated like a criminal. I am so skint I cannot even afford to take out my children, buy them birthday or Christmas presents. Infact, the eldest one says he doesnt need me anymore and wants no contact. I feel awful.
There is a glimmer of hope in knowing that you are not alone in all this. I wish i could wave a magic wand and put everything right for everyone that is up to their neck in it with these draconian swines.
SOMETHING HAS TO BE DONE PEOPLE !!!!
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Hi Daz, 'I am so fed up, feel
Hi Daz,
'I am so fed up, feel like ending it all sometimes. I think of my children when I feel this way.'
Daz, you are stronger than you think you are at this moment, your children need you here now on this earth and in their future long after all this mess has gone. Remember nothing lasts forever! You need to start thinking of your self a liitle daz because you are no good to your children in a box...
You are NOT a Criminal you are a human being, and as such have a right to be treated as such.
Sounds to me as your eldest is showing a few signs that we lads showed our dads at 15 it is probably something that will pass, I know I said some rotten things at that age to my dad, take it on the chin and try and pass it off as one of those things, from reading your post it seems that you are trying to do the best to all in all situations and sorry mate but you cannot.
So she is a lying Bitch well thats her prob not yours, give the CSA no reason to think other remember, its their job to get money out of you for the kids, thats their job like you can bend over and take it like a stuck pig or you can stick it to the man'I know which one I am doing...
Be strong Brother and dont let the bastards grind you down, remember its hard to soar like an eagle surrounded by pigeons...;)